Est. Tampa · MMXXVI Vol. I / No. 003

THE PROOF

The Questions Five questions about what you want MMXXVI
Field Guide No. 003 —Five questions to help you hear what you want— 5 Prompts · One Notebook

•Filed Under·The Questions

Becoming her. Five questions.

When you're questioning drinking, it can be easy to focus on what you'd give up. These questions make room for what you want instead.

You don't have to decide on forever before you answer them. Start with the part of your life that feels worth a second look.

It's for the woman holding the calendar, the room, the reputation, and wondering what she wants when there's a little less noise.

You can keep your answers private.

The One Line
What do I want to make room for?

— From The Questions

The Proof · Stay in touch

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    How to use these

    Don't answer them in your head. Get a real notebook or open the notes app. Write full sentences.

    One question a day for five days. Or all in one sitting. Both work. What doesn't work is skimming them and moving on.

    Come back to them in 90 days. Watch what changed.

    Question 01·The reward

    When you pour the drink, what are you actually giving yourself?

    Sit with this

    It might be permission to stop, quiet, a reward or something else. It may also be the alcohol itself. Write what is true for you, without choosing the answer you think you should give.

    The follow-up

    Is there another way to meet any part of that need? What would you like to try, and where might you need support?

    Question 02·Before

    When have you felt most like yourself?

    Start where you remember

    Think of a time when you felt like yourself. What did you enjoy? Who did you spend time with? You don't have to find one particular age or a perfect version of your past.

    The follow-up

    What would you like to bring back into your life now? Write down something you miss, even if you don't yet know how to make room for it.

    Question 03·The possibility

    Twelve months from today, what would you like to feel different?

    Write what matters to you

    Consider your Monday mornings, your relationships or the thing you've kept putting off. These are possibilities to explore, not changes that stopping drinking guarantees.

    Why this one

    What part of that picture depends on drinking, and what needs a different kind of attention? Pick one choice you can begin to explore.

    Question 04·The avoidance

    Is there anything drinking helps you avoid feeling?

    Name it plainly

    There may be boredom, loneliness, pressure or grief underneath the habit. There may be something else, or no clear answer yet. Describe your experience without borrowing somebody else's explanation.

    The follow-up

    You don't have to fix it tonight. If something difficult comes up, think about who could help you explore it safely.

    Question 05·Her

    Describe a day that feels more like yours.

    Picture an ordinary day

    What would you make time for? What would you say out loud? Think about an ordinary day, with the responsibilities you still have, and one thing you'd like to do differently.

    The follow-up

    What is one realistic choice you can make this week? You may still need help with drinking or with the wider question. That belongs in the plan, too.

    The wider question

    What do you want to make room for?

    You can answer these without making a promise, reaching a milestone or posting anything publicly.

    Keep your notes. Return when you want to see whether your answer has changed. If you want a more specific look at drinking, try the free Reassessment.

    — Lo Welch

    Founder·The Proof

    Featured on Recovery.com, The Sober New Yorker Podcast, Creative Sobriety Podcast, and Sober Life Rocks Podcast.

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